Hey Christian, this one's for you. The Christian who grew up in the church learning to "pray for your enemies". The Christian who felt shame for not wanting to wish well on the adversaries of their life, so they locked the anger deep inside and put on the "church face". The Christian who has an issue with letting the hurt caused by someone you love go because it was unfair, it was selfish, and it was not justified. I want you to know - it is okay not to pray for your enemies.
If you want to stop right here, I totally understand because what I just said is pretty blasphemous and shocking. If you choose to continue on this journey with me, I hope you can learn more about yourself and even more about the majestic Father who created you and loves you. So buckle your seat belts, keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, and turn your phones on to airplane mode (unless you're reading this on a mobile device, then please don't turn me off).
When I say it's okay not to pray for them, I don't mean it in an unforgiving and malicious way - I don't even mean to say you should NEVER pray for them. I am simply letting you know that it is okay not to have that initial reaction. Prayer is hard enough as it is, but trying to add a level of grace and humility for the one person you loathe the most is even more difficult. It's okay to not be able to do this perfectly, because you are not perfect. You are not meant to know the right words in the right formula at the right time because communication with Jesus is not an equation to be solved. It is a constant journey towards intimacy, reliance, and trust.
So, please, take your dang time to pray for that friend that betrayed you, the family member who constantly disappoints you, the ex who smashed your heart in to pieces, or the church goer that showed no grace towards you. Take time to heal and hear God's redeeming love pour over you, because He will make you whole and He will bring you safely to a place where you open your heart up to showing love to your foe. Like I said earlier, there's no perfect equation for this, there's no timeline that will be correct for everyone, but it will happen.
It took 8 months for me to be able to pray for that person in my life. That means it took me roughly 243 days to do what the church instructs me to do. I dunno about you, but that seems like a long ass time to be outside a "healthy prayer life". But lemme tell you, I am so glad for each and every day that passed between April 24, 2016 and February 5, 2017 - because the words that were eventually poured out to my Savior were dripping with truth. I fully and whole heartedly prayed for that person, without any ill feelings, without any judgement on their head, and with full understanding that God can do anything in anyone's heart and life - even his.
My beautiful mother has stood by me for a lot of moments in my life, but she's stood even firmer this last year and affirmed me that is okay that I could not pray for him. Those words have never been spoken to me by the church, and I have been at least 1,000 services in my lifetime. I am thankful that I waited this long to pray for my enemy, and I think you deserve to know that it is acceptable and warranted to take your sweet time before you do so as well.
I encourage you who are hurting due to the actions of someone you trusted, be patient in your prayer life and know that the Lord is working in you. You will find restoration and when you come to a place where you see His full magnitude as bright as the sun, you too will be able to lift up your nemesis. It will be so freeing, it will be so sincere, and it will change their life just like yours has been changed through Him.
