Every gym is filled with the same type of people - whether you're a part of an elite-high caliber membership health club, you go to your local YMCA, or frequent Planet Fitness. The only constant that can be found is a list of very specific people you will find across the board. Even in just reading that, you've probably started your own list which I would bet looks something like this:
- That one guy who grunts like a charging rhino
- That one girl who walks around in just a sports bra
- That one guy who is there just to talk to all the sports-bra-clad women
- That one girl who sits on the machine and texts the whole time
- That one guy who never re-racks his weights
- That one girl who....
I can't argue with you if this is what your mental list looks like, because that was only a very small fraction of mine whenever I verbalize my frustrations. I cannot argue that there are habits at gyms that are irritating and characters that are easily made targets - however there really is only one "worst" type of people at the gym -
those of us that just made those lists.
We are the literal worst kind of people, myself most definitely included, that can be spotted at the gym. We waste our precious time and energy to stare, judge, and criticize the way a person chooses to work out just because it is 1) different than how you function 2) disruptive to your own workout or 3) makes you insecure about the way you look. We are the worst people because we have taken something that everyone should do and made it nearly impossible for them to want to.
Every person that walks through that door deserves to be there. Every person that squeezes themselves in to those very unforgiving gym clothes and steps out in boldness to work damn well should be able to do so how they please. It is an accomplishment to make a commitment to healthy living - and it is some of the hardest work your body will ever go through. At one point, I was an annoying girl at the gym who felt the eyes of those around her staring because she didn't "look the part" and didn't know what on God's green earth she was doing. How funny it is that we are quick to forget we all started from the bottom (thx Drake).
The world is so quick to snap at whatever is not similar to themselves - whether that be color, sexual orientation, religion, or education level. Why do we have to turn the gym in to another avenue for unnecessary criticism?
Maybe I am alone in this - maybe none of you reading this have an internal monologue of frustrations and irritations when you see specific people at the gym. Maybe I am the only literal worst gym-goer and if that is true, then after today I know that my gym will be a better place. Most, if not all, of the people I have unjustly castigated have no idea they have been a target of my exasperation and if I could apologize to them individually I would. But since I can't I am just gonna put myself on blast on the internet.
Hey Christian, this one's for you. The Christian who grew up in the church learning to "pray for your enemies". The Christian who felt shame for not wanting to wish well on the adversaries of their life, so they locked the anger deep inside and put on the "church face". The Christian who has an issue with letting the hurt caused by someone you love go because it was unfair, it was selfish, and it was not justified. I want you to know - it is okay not to pray for your enemies.
If you want to stop right here, I totally understand because what I just said is pretty blasphemous and shocking. If you choose to continue on this journey with me, I hope you can learn more about yourself and even more about the majestic Father who created you and loves you. So buckle your seat belts, keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, and turn your phones on to airplane mode (unless you're reading this on a mobile device, then please don't turn me off).
When I say it's okay not to pray for them, I don't mean it in an unforgiving and malicious way - I don't even mean to say you should NEVER pray for them. I am simply letting you know that it is okay not to have that initial reaction. Prayer is hard enough as it is, but trying to add a level of grace and humility for the one person you loathe the most is even more difficult. It's okay to not be able to do this perfectly, because you are not perfect. You are not meant to know the right words in the right formula at the right time because communication with Jesus is not an equation to be solved. It is a constant journey towards intimacy, reliance, and trust.
So, please, take your dang time to pray for that friend that betrayed you, the family member who constantly disappoints you, the ex who smashed your heart in to pieces, or the church goer that showed no grace towards you. Take time to heal and hear God's redeeming love pour over you, because He will make you whole and He will bring you safely to a place where you open your heart up to showing love to your foe. Like I said earlier, there's no perfect equation for this, there's no timeline that will be correct for everyone, but it will happen.
It took 8 months for me to be able to pray for that person in my life. That means it took me roughly 243 days to do what the church instructs me to do. I dunno about you, but that seems like a long ass time to be outside a "healthy prayer life". But lemme tell you, I am so glad for each and every day that passed between April 24, 2016 and February 5, 2017 - because the words that were eventually poured out to my Savior were dripping with truth. I fully and whole heartedly prayed for that person, without any ill feelings, without any judgement on their head, and with full understanding that God can do anything in anyone's heart and life - even his.
My beautiful mother has stood by me for a lot of moments in my life, but she's stood even firmer this last year and affirmed me that is okay that I could not pray for him. Those words have never been spoken to me by the church, and I have been at least 1,000 services in my lifetime. I am thankful that I waited this long to pray for my enemy, and I think you deserve to know that it is acceptable and warranted to take your sweet time before you do so as well.
I encourage you who are hurting due to the actions of someone you trusted, be patient in your prayer life and know that the Lord is working in you. You will find restoration and when you come to a place where you see His full magnitude as bright as the sun, you too will be able to lift up your nemesis. It will be so freeing, it will be so sincere, and it will change their life just like yours has been changed through Him.
It's the top of the new year and it's expected of everyone (especially the gaggle of blogging enthusiasts) to write about their new resolutions or changes they are making to improve themselves and their lives. I wanted to avoid being another little fish in the big sea of blogs during New Year's but as much as I have been trying to avoid it I know that I have to do this - for me. Last year, I made it a point to remain honest, vulnerable and authentic after trauma entered my life so it would be a disservice to the growth I have made to stop now.
2017 had a plan laid out long before January 1 - marriage, a new job, a new home and a new state. So, as I sit at the same job, in the same state, single and nowhere near being a homeowner, it is only natural to be disappointed in what the next 365(ish) days will be. In blessed contrast, I am beyond thrilled that my 2017 is nothing like what I strategically planned out. I do, however, have one major "resolution" for myself this year.
I resolve to pray from head to toe.
I resolve to live in gratitude for the brain the Lord has given me: the thoughts and creativity that is discovered in it, the memories stored within, the expansions and new understandings in the horizon and the open mindedness I will strive to achieve in all situations.
I resolve to be thankful for the hands that get stronger every day, that are open to new relationships, that work hard to complete tasks and duties, that remain outstretched to receive love.
I resolve to be remain faithful with the body the Lord blessed me with in all of it's beauty, to keep it safe from harm, to cherish the health and ability it has.
I resolve to praise the King for giving me feet that walk up to strangers alike, that support the journeys through nature that bring me such peace, to never take for granted my mobility.
I resolve to pray with thankfulness over and for all that I will be involved in - from head to toe. Every interaction, every new opportunity, every adventure, every heartache, every battle, every victory, and every day.
2017 may not end up the way you envision, hell, it may not even have started out all that great - but every day there is something to be thankful for. Instead of wallowing in the mistakes, the disappointments and the uncertainties - choose gratitude.
