True Love Exists.

I have started and stopped a post at least a dozen times over the past couple of months. Some days it starts off as a letter to the villain who is not worthy of my words. Some days it starts off as a journal entry about the state of my heavy heart and disheveled mind. Some days it is even for the girl who came after me to try to "show her the light" and "save her". Today is not the time and place to delve in to those topics full force, but before I get in to the meat and potatoes of this post, I do want to address them solely for the purpose of giving myself some peace.

To him - You are prayed for. Despite your vile heart, your toxic ways, your foolish and selfish antics, and your constant desire to harm, you are a child of the One True God. He loves you, He finds you worthy, and He died for you and I hope you find your way back to the man he made you to be. I don't like you right now and I don't foresee a day I ever will again, but for every way I hate you I also am thankful for you.

To her - I wish I could shake you, wish I could remove the blinders from your eyes, wish I could show you the dangerous path you are quickly traveling down. I want to hate you for the relationship you have with him far too quickly after the worse day of my life. However, I cannot for one second because I understand how you can fall for a snake. I pray you never get treated the way I did, but if you do as I unfortunately believe you will, I pray for healing.

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The real reason this posts exists is to highlight what today is. I have been wallowing around for quite some time because of a bad relationship. I have been living selfishly, I have been hiding and lying and living in the shadows. I have segregated myself from the world in so many ways and turned in to a shell of the Ivette Alexandra Vargas I once was. In all of these horrific months, not a single person abandoned me when they so fully had reason to. Not one friend turned their back on me, not one friend gave up on me, not one friend loved me any less.

Today is #NationalBestFriendDay and by golly do I know for a fact that I have the worlds best. So, this post goes out to you guys, the truest definition of love that has ever existed:

Ashley, Dallas, Melissa, Tracy, Kate, Alissa, Emma, Stephen and Zach.

I am on the brink of tears right now thinking about each and everyone of you. You are my heroes. You are my strength. You are my joy. You are my laughter. You are my favorite headache and biggest pride. There is nothing on this earth I treasure more than you. Every single moment of every day you have known me, each of you have showered me with love and support and patience (because the good Lord knows you need it when dealing with me).

Thank you. Thank you a million times over for existing and breathing life in to me when I am hard to love. Thank you for cheering me up on a bad day and bringing out the craziest and goofiest sides of me. Thank you for constantly supporting my dreams, even if they are stupid. Thank you for never asking me to be anything but myself. Thank you for always making time for me. Thank you for reminding me who I am. Thank you for being there for me when I couldn't even be there for myself.

These last few months haven't been easy on me, but as hard as they are on me, I know they are equally as hard on you. You have felt every pain alongside me, You have broken at my brokenness. You have cried for me and with me, but you have also been the light that brings me out of those tears. I am sorry for the days that I haven't been the friend to you that you deserve. I am sorry for not always appreciating you and letting a useless human being get in between us. I could never ever explain to you what you mean to me, but even more so during this hard and painful season.

So, while there are other people out there who sometimes take my attention away or fill my thoughts when they shouldn't, please know that you are always in my heart. 

I love you. Infinitely, Enternally, Unconditionally.